Butterfly Kiss

The intense darkness is the beautiful sleeping
butterfly.
Do you even know you're in the deep blue sky?
The fragile world is like building blocks;
It wants to fly away.
For the one who had only one wish
And loved it...

The dice were thrown.
"Paradise" rises from the future.
You and I unite in the far away dream,
And we'll get across this blood red river.

If I can return all of your tears back to the sea,
Will the sins and pain be forgotten too?
Warmth was given to a lonely wing
By that precious kiss.
For the one who had only one promise,
And kept it...

A flower embraces a cross with uncertainty.
With that, bloomed a fickle angel.
If, someday, love that's far away is found,
Then paradise will be given to you.

In search of true light,
We live innocently.
For the only one who now believed,
And love it...

The dice were thrown.
"Paradise" rises from the future.
You and I unite in the far away dream,
And we'll get across this blood red river.

A flower embraces a cross with uncertainty.
With that bloomed a fickle angel.
If, someday, love that's far away is found,
Then paradise will be given to you.

World

Zaman trus mnerus brubh...smakin jauh prbhan yg klhat..smakin mrinding pla driku...
Skrng...sdh hmpr gak ada kjelasan antara kbaikna n kbrukan..kbenaran n ksalahan..
Smuax buram..di samarkan olh logika manusia..
Prasaan2 manusia yg dlux murni..kini trnodai dgn tindakan2 brtjuan mngikuti hasrat n ego mreka msing2..
Smakin jauh kta mlangkah..mka smakin bnyk eror yg kta dpatkan..
Hal2 ini kuanggap..sbgai erorrisasi yg pxbab n alasanx trjdix tak lain krna khendak manusia..khendak kta sndri..
Jika ada istilah evolusi..prubhan,dinamisme ke arah yg lbh baik..mka kta skrng sdng berdevolusi..stagnansi..kmunduran ke arah yg lbh buruk jika kta smua msh tetap mmprthankan erorisasi ini...

Question

Ak..gak bsa mmpercyaix..
Htiku cmas n resah...
Sperti ada ssuatu yg mau dsmpaikan oleh htiku..ssuatu yg pahit!!

Beginning.0.1 prologue for a long journey

Ku hanyalah sbuah bintang yg ksepian..sndri trambang dlam kehampaan..brsinar redup hmpr mati..
Kupikir ku kan jatuh..hidup dlam pnindasan dan lingkungan yg kras..hanya sndrian..hanya sndrian..

smpai hri itu tiba.....

mentari trbit di ufuk timur...ayam berkokok di teras rumah..seorang bocah yg msh mluk bantal trbring di atas ranjang berseprai merah..guling kanan guling kiri..dgn gaya tidur yg tak biasa..
Sinar mentari prlhan mnyusup ke ke tmpat dimana bocah it tidur dri pori2 kaca yg lmbut..menggesek kulit bocah itu dgn stu dua panas yg dikandungx mmbuatx trbngun dri tidurx..
Huaammm...bocah mnguap.."hari yg bru dimulai lg..msalah mcam apa yg kdpatkan hri ini ya??"gumamx..dia lalu mnurunkan kakix yg kurus ke lantai..dgn sdkt hentakan..diapun brdri..
¤
Bocah berbdan kurus dgn kulit putih berwajah dgn eksperesi yg datar...tmpak ugal2an dan loyo..yup..bocah it adlh aku..
Hri it..hri prtma kujalani hidupku di bngku klas dua smp..awalx kpkr gak bkal ada yg brubh di klas dua..sma dgn klas 1 n sd..sma2 pnuh dgn hal2 yg gak mxnangkan n pnindasan..dipalaki,dipukuli,diisengi,dijadiin nak bwang..hueee..mxbalkan!!!

Dgn lngkah gontai..ku brjalan ke kamar mandi..ambl hnduk..n byurr..mandi buat siap2 ke skul..

stlah sarapan..kupamit pda kdua ortuku..lalu kukayuh spdaku mlewati jalan brliku..mnuju smp 1,smp favorit di bantaeng,kbupaten tmptku tgl..ya,wlaupun kta orng2 nh smp mantep,ratingx bgus,muridx cerdas..tpi tetep aja ada anak nakal!!sok brkuasa!!n ska mnindas!!mxbalkan!!

jam 7.08 kusmpai di skul..parkis spda..ikuti upacara hri senin..ya it dah jdi rutinitas..tpi bdax..tmben hri ini kutak trlmbt ke skul..biasax sh pas dtang ku dikuncikan pagar mah pnjaga skul pe hrus mmhon biar dibiarkan msuk..atau hruz nekat mnjat pagar blakang sekolah..

slese upacara..kumlangkah msuk ke ruang klasku yg bru..kelas 2a..it kelasku yg bru..dlam benakku ku brhrap bhkan pe stengah mmhon spya di kelas ini gak ada atau stdakx kranglah murid2 yg sok jagoan n ska nindas bocah2 lmah mcam aku..

n akhrx..hrapanku trkbul..ya wlaupun dlam klas ada jga nak nakal..tpi stdakx gak pe 4 5 ornglah..lumayan..krang pnindasan..

sesaat stlah msuk kelas..ada yg mnyapaku..bocah lainx dgn bdan yg lbh gmuk driku..berisi..n mnurtku bsa digolongkan bdan bsar mcam ptarung2 dlam skala kelas bocah smp..tpi syng skali..ada pepatah yg mngatakan bdan bsar lum tntu brani brkelahi..n pepatahx bnar!!aris nurdiansya.,tmanku dri sd..brnasib sma dgnku..sring ditindas!!
Aku lalu mxapax balik..kmudian mngambil tmpat duduk di blakang..knapa di blakang??biar guru2 gak bsa tau klu ak gak mmperhtikan guru saat mngajar n mlah mnggambr gundam di buku2 plajaranku..
Aris mngambl tmpt duduk yg smeja dgnku..ya stdakx kubrsyukur krna yg duduk di sblahku bkan anak krang ajar yg ska mngganggu bhkan trkdang mmukul kpalaku tiap guru dah slesai ngajar..
Plajaran pun brjalan..aku aris yg duduk diblakang sma skali bhkan dah bsa diblng gak mnikmati n mngikuti plajaran matematika yg bgtu mmbosankan n rumit..dlam otak kami..trtnam suatu kpercyaan yg mngatkan matematika th tabu buat dicerna dlam otak kami..bsa2 matematika mnjdi protein asing yg mnimbulkan kelainan pda kpala mcam kebotakan pda usia dini bhkan pe kanker otak..
Cman..dlam plajaran kali ini..ada yg mnarik prhtian kami..dua orng anak yg duduk di dpan kami..ya biasax sh yg mnarik prhtian dua anak cow tuh dua anak cew jga..tpi kli ini lain!!yg mnarik prhatian kami th dua nak cow...eittss..tnggu dlu!!jgn brpkran yg aneh2 n gak jlas!!bkanx kmi homo atau smacamx..amit2 dah ska atau prhatikan ssama cow..gni2 kmi jga ska curi pndang mah cew2..cman kdua anak yg kbtlan duduk di dpan kmi th bda dri mrid cow2 lain..bda dlam artian gak kyak mrid cow yg ska nindas n sok jagoan..jga bda dgn murid2 cow yg di kpalax cman akademik mlu smpai2 urat ijo di kpala mreka pe klhatan jelas wlau mlhatx tnpa bntuan luv atau kca pmbesar..ksimplanx..mreka unik..gak msuk dlam ruang lingkup murid2 yg kmi blacklist dengan kategori sperti diatas..yup..hope that they just like us....
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path 2

I miss u Lyrics

Hello there, the angel from my nightmare
The shadow in the background of the morgue
The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want
Where you can always find me
We'll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never ends (miss you miss you, miss you miss you)

Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time
And as I stared I counted
Webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you

and hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight
Stop this pain tonight

Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (miss you miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (miss you miss you)

Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (miss you miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (miss you miss you)

Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (miss you miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (miss you miss you)
(miss you miss you, miss you miss you, miss you miss you)

Path

new divide

I remembered black skies, the lightning all around me
I remembered each flash as time began to blur
Like a startling sign that fate had finally found me
And your voice was all I heard that I get what I deserve

So give me reason to prove me wrong, to wash this memory clean
Let the floods cross the distance in your eyes
Give me reason to fill this hole, connect the space between
Let it be enough to reach the truth that lies across this new divide

There was nothing in sight but memories left abandoned
There was nowhere to hide, the ashes fell like snow
And the ground caved in between where we were standing
And your voice was all I heard that I get what I deserve

So give me reason to prove me wrong, to wash this memory clean
Let the floods cross the distance in your eyes across this new divide

In every loss, in every lie, in every truth that you'd deny
And each regret and each goodbye was a mistake too great to hide
And your voice was all I heard that I get what I deserve

So give me reason to prove me wrong, to wash this memory clean
Let the floods cross the distance in your eyes
Give me reason to fill this hole, connect the space between
Let it be enough to reach the truth that lies across this new divide
Across this new divide, across this new divide

Habit

the importance in this life is about move away ur ego...
human surely have a habit "just think bout ourself....for our own profit"
well....I can't blame them for those habit or how their way to think...
but!!!If that's became top priority..then what's the meaning of this life...
is it for our own profit..???!!!!!so where the harmony of life..?????
Why we won't think bout others....is bout helping hand...equality...
not to use the others for our own profit...but the be together...struggle for honorable achievement....
Especially in a relationship such friendship and brothership..!!!!
We build a relationship with the others not for use them......

My Love

Alone

Pale broken wings,
you're just a little tired
from the sky which is too blue
Don't do it for anyone else
Just smile for yourself



loneliness is still creeping up,
A candle lit up inside
totally incompatible with a splendid, bustling party



The hollowness of
the absence of your words, is it ok just to bury them?
I still don't know



At least within dreams
If I can swim freely even if there isn't anywhere like that,
Even if everything until now is forgotten,
Even if I can face tomorrow...



Pale broken wings,
you're just a little tired
from the sky which is too blue
Don't do it for anyone else
Just smile for yourself



The peacefulness of inferiority
won't come true so simply
Settling above your self consciousness
A petal reflected by a mirror



Straining my lungs,
tryin' to call dirtied love,
however, it's so frustrating



As times are passing
My wounds are cursed
My scabs are changed
You haven't got that
So beautiful
Yet so short lived



After the scabs fall off
Just like the newer, shorter hair near the scar
My prayer are shaking in the bright light
I won't forcibly
try to love you...



Sometimes, in this world
When we try to walk ahead,
it's a little too bright, isn't it?
It's like we're sinking
When we feel like giving up,
the dry land sucks up our tears



Why do we feel so alone anytime?
We don't have to take it all, you know
Why do we feel so alone anytime?
Simple refrain isn't courage

Dan dan kokoro hikare teku

Bit by bit My heart is charmed
With that dazzling smile
Let's flee from the endless darkness Hold my hand



You see, when I met you
I remembered the view which I had treasured when I was a child
Won't you dance with me
It's a winding road of light and shadows Even now, you're dreaming of him?
There are times when it seemed like I wanted to turn back but
Holding love, courage, and pride, I shall fight



Bit by Bit My heart is charmed
A piece of hope in this world
Anyone surely wants to have eternity in his hands
Even if you pretend not to mind at all
Hey I love you
Let's flee from the endless darkness Hold your hand



I also like you, even with that face, tired from anger
I wonder if it's all right to live such a life, being blown away
As for me... I'm just spun around by casual gestures Sea Side Blue
Or are you still dreaming of him
I had something more I wish to ask but
Our conversation just goes on like the sound of car wheels dancing around



Bit by Bit My heart is charmed
It's amazing even to myself but
Something is there I suddenly feel like calling you
Even if you pretend not to mind at all
In the end all I see is you
Let's flee towards the sea Hold my hand

Hitori janai

As I was growing up, I thought
There surely are things that'll backfire on me but
I want to live on more tomorrow than I'm doing today



I wonder what people's desires are
We can't understand each other just from words so we get hurt and cry
The more you struggle, the more you'll wander alone



*I'm no longer alone, I'm being changed by my dreams
Even the opposing winds are flying and laughing
Let's become one
Until that moment comes, it will be the proof of my courage
In this world which is constantly changing



It seems there's nothing at all inside reality but
Laughing with you, crying with you, I become myself again



Before I became strong, I kept rejecting encouragement
You watched over me so I could move on
I can see your goal and it's getting crowded



I'm no longer alone, I can have more freedom
I can throw away things like pride and doubts
Having the pleasure of someone by my side
I can finally understand that you must believe in people
Because I met you

Oath

We are NOS

Doa..

Teruslah berdoa..
Karena sesungguhnya sesombong sombongnya seorang manusia..lebih sombong lagi orang yang tidak mau berdoa setelah sholatnya..
Rasullah SAW yang tempatnya sudah mutlak di surga selama masa hidupnya terus berdoa..
Maka ikutilah jejaknya..

Sakit

Is this what u want..???
Is this What I deserve for...??

Is this What I Became for...??

Is this What my future..??

I Ask U..!!What Do U want..???!!!!

......

Uww..........Trouble..

Again...same trouble...same problem...same pain...
Geez..it's really pain in the ass..!!!

Kapan dia mau ngerti...kpan mslah ini sleseai..???!!!!
Gak taukah klu cow jga px prasaan.......TT

We are

Smoke

Every time I put cigar on my finger....I feel that I do something that I won't do If I was my old self..
I even don't understand why I put it on my finger....

I put it........Light the lighter...then Buuuusssssss......a random form of smoke appear..
It silly that I did something that I actually didn't desire....

But in fact...I did it...

Well....maybe something bad infect my brain...like a virus or a germ..

Honestly...I feel many strange things...
It's dazzling in my head...stuck in my heart...

But honestly....smoke make me feel bit better...
My sadness...sorrow....loneness....flowing out with smoke that blow from my mouth...

I'm just feel lone...and there is no one notice that...
No one notice what I feel...or what I desire...
Nor that I didn't trust anyone to notice me....

I don't know if it just my ego....
But...for now...it's only smoke that I could count for accompany my lone time....

Reason....

Hollowness reach more deeper in myself...
Every single event that I ve encountered create more madness...more anger...
Brain.....Heart.....Spirit....turning into something that I don't recognize.....
Even I'm the one who have those things..
It just like a meadow which turning into a blight...
It slowly drained...till dying...
Without any cure and treatment...it sure will be fall...

Now...I ve trying to cure it by myself...
Is not that I didn't need anyone help...
It just I ve grow tired to be like this...
I grow tired to have a faith...a hope....waiting for someone else to notice this hollowness...
I need to be recovered...

Then..I do what I can Do...
For myself...and for every beloved one...
Especially for her.....Meta Kurnianingtyas...

Truth

Ada ayat dalam al'quran yg mnyatakan bahwa manusia tercipta dari setetes mani, kemudian menjadi segumpal darah..lalu menjadi segumpal daging......dan hal itu dibuktikan oleh teknologi dimana manusia terbentuk dari hasil pembuahan antara sperma dan ovarium yang kemudian membentuk zigot, yang secara bertahap akan membentuk susunan jaringan, sistem organ, dan kemudian menjadi seorang bayi....
Jika ada seseorang yg berkata bahwa Al'quran merupakan buku yg dibuat oleh logika Rasullullah..maka pikirkanlah dengan logika anda sendiri.....
Dilihat dari ayat diatas....Apakah mungkin Rasulullullah bisa mengutarakan pernyataan ilmiah tentang terbentuknya seorang manusia dalam rahim ibunya pada zaman dimana teknologi untuk melihat kejadian terbentuknya manusia dalam rahim sama sekali belum ada...?????
Hal ini membuktikan bahwa Al'quran betul-betul langsung diturunkan oleh Allah SWT kepada Rasulullah SAW sebagai wahyu juga pedoman umat manusia...karena sesungguhnya apa yg tertulis dalam Al'quran adalah suatu kebenaran yang mutlak.....
Subhanallah......

identity

Passion

If I recall, far far away
The future was shining on everywhere
Beneath the beautiful blue sky
We were just a little afraid



The window will be tinted
A nostalgic color



If we advance forth, can we ever meet again?
The future goes on to everywhere
Beneath the large signboard
I want to keep watching the eras changing



Hidden away
My heart is a battleground


I will open a window
To the people and places I can't see again



If I recall, far far away
The future was shining on everywhere
Beneath the beautiful blue sky
We were slumbering forever



(All my fears and all our lies)



Beneath the blue sky...

Our Bonds

Who am I

Who am I.......
Thats the question that always bugging my head.....
What is my purpose.....what things that i want to achieve in this world..???
what path that i ve choose for my own self...???is it right or wrong...???

I always searching it...keep walking....
search for what I ve lost.....walking for that I need so much...
My self.....and My destiny....

Hope

What is it….Roxas…Star….It is going to shine…???

The lost of myself..lost of my faith..lost of my heart..it pretend me to became nobody..

Person without existence..person who don’t have any feelings..

Is this what I want to became..??is this what I desire for myself..??

Obvius isn’t…I even don’t know bout myself…thus I feel that I can’t catch with the sky anymore…

If I’m an angel..then my wings already tear apart..shattered till it completely broken…

I ve fallen from the light…fall to darkest place..where no one can reach it…

Even for the sea..the person who I love the most…

When the night is come…the star can’t shine anymore…losing it’s particle for giving it’s light…

Then where the star could retrieve his lost light…?.where the start could search for it…?

Sea abandoned the star…is it true..?or the star abandoned the sea..?

It’s truly complicated..don’t know what’s going on…don’t know what will happen next…

Reality…Fact…Destiny…it is going to be sad story..with sad ending..??

What is this anger..hatred..dissapointed..it is going to devour myself..My heart..??

I ve lost control my act..my brain..it’s really almost lost..

What I know just sad and more sad…lone and more lone…

So where is the joy..where is the spirit…where is the goodness..???

Past…when I see through to past…there is the joy..there is the spirit…there is the goodness…

But in past…there is some part that missing..part that most important…

Then I’m starting to search it…searching everywhere…step by step…

Dream within Dream…sad melody..lone themes..that is myself..yeah my destined self…

Then so be it…I ve tired..so tired from this journey…

Thus I ve thinking to get a rest…lay myself…watch the sky for a while…thinking bout the sea…

And then……………

I wouldn’t mind for closing my eyes n put myself into a deep sleep…and perhaps….

Perhaps that I would find what I search for in my dream……

With the last heart that I ve had…

Roxas….

Star

Star......it shine on pitch black sky....
It comes when the night cames...covered the land of humanity...
Shine brightly for those who have fearing the darkness...
Giving the light of hope for those who give up their fate....

Even if star is smallest things on the space....
But it shine by his self....by his own power....
It's keep struggling and bless a joy for those who need it....
But did people notice it.....notice the existence of star..??
Did people notice his struggle for keep giving a joy for them when darkness covering every corner on their land...??????
Did the people ever consider that the star also have his own feeling.....his own suffer....
The star is just like human....have his own sad and happy story to share with others....
The Star also have his own limits....
And if the Star reaching his own limits....
His light going to vanish slowly...till it completely gone....
Then....the Star will falling from the sky...through the atmosphere with his own sadness and sorrow..
without anyone noticing....